If you don't believe it, try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car and leave them there for an hour. Then, when you open the boot, ask yourself this question: -
"Who is really happy to see me?
The Happiest Day In Your Life
It’s the day before Sam is going to get married. The out of town guests have begun to arrive.
Jack, the uncle of the groom goes over to Sam and wishes him congratulations.
“One day you’ll look back at this day as the happiest day of your life." says Jack.
“But, I’m getting married tomorrow." Sam corrects him.
“I know!" answers Jack.
The Happiest Woman In The World
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says: "Right now, for this Women’s Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
The woman says: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian were once discussing the meaning of true happiness.
The Englishman said, "True happiness, my friends, is rising early on a frosty autumn morning, getting on top of a good horse, and galloping off behind the hounds in pursuit of the fox. A hard ride over fields and fences and rivulets until the fox is brought down. A ride back with the ears and the tail and then sitting before a roaring fire with a glass of good port. Ah, that is true happiness."
The Frenchman said, "That is not true happiness. That is merely animal pleasure. True happiness is meeting with the love of your life, having an intimate meal in a topnotch restaurant with champagne. Ah, that is true happiness."
The Russian said, "That is not true happiness. That is merely a good time. True happiness comes when you are sitting in your apartment after a hard day at the factory, your little Ivan on your knee, and reading your copy of 'Pravda'. There comes a knock at the door. Three men in ill-fitting brown suits come storming in and say, 'Stepan Stepanovich?' and you say, 'He lives in the room upstairs.' Ah, that is true happiness."
He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: I would rather have the money.
He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.
He: Go on. Don't be shy, ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.
He: I think I could make you very happy?
She: Why? Are you leaving?