A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space. An old lady was seated opposite to him and thought for a moment, then she suddenly said,' It's no good you talking to me, young man, I'm stone deaf! '
Teacher: Can someone show me the gum line?
A student took out her chewing gum and started pulling it.
Teacher: What are you doing?
Student: I'm showing you my gum line.
Child: Mom! Can I have a piece of your gum (Certs), please?
Mom: Sweetie. This is a breath freshener gum. It might be too strong for you.
Child: No it won't, Mom. See (while flexing his arm muscles), I have big muscles.
"You shouldn't swallow that chewing gum" warned my wife.
"And why the hell not?" I snapped, gulping it down.
"Because you've just picked it from under the bus seat, you idiot!".
Swelling In The Mouth
A distraught dog owner called a vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained that his dog had a large growth or swelling near the corner of its mouth, so the vet told him to bring the animal over.
When the man came in with his pet, the vet examined the dog as the man Stood by, anxiously waiting. At last the doctor turned to him and asked,"do you have any children?"
"Oh, good grief, is it contagious?" the man gasped.
"No," the doctor answered. "It's bubble gum."