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Your 5 Jokes for April, 03, 2012: Guest Jokes

Biscuits

A guest visited Molly’s house. She gave her a plate of biscuits. Just after that, her dog started to bark at the guest.

Guest: Why is the dog barking at me?

Molly: Actually, it’s his food. Don’t worry, I am holding him. You better finish it quickly.


Empty

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

The next day, the pastor was over at Emily’s family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."


Hunter To Hunter Visit

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.

The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"

The host said, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."

"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter, and the host said, "My wife."


The Non-Invited Guest

The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.

At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.

He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host: "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."

The guest continued: "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."


What Mom Says

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn’t know what to say," she replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife instructed. Our daughter bowed her head and said: “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner"!


See also:

Family jokes