The Sheriff pulls up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replies.
"That's why I am dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine for dumping garbage.'
An American Tourist in Moscow
An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there. Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?" "I have to throw this away," replied the tourist. "You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered. The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want." The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers. "Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist. "No. This is the American Embassy."
Two blondes attending college rented a country cabin from a farmer for the summer. When they asked the farmer what he did with his garbage, he told them that he fed it to his pigs. So, they proceeded to buy a small porker for the reasonable price of $25.
Over the summer, they fed the porker their garbage, and the pig got big and fat.
When the summer ended, the two girls wanted to sell the pig before they went back to school. Since it had done its job well, they went to the farmer to see if he was interested.
"How much do you want for it?" the farmer asked.
One of the girls replied, "Well, we bought the pig new for $25 and now it's used -- so you can have it for $15."
Two cockroaches were having a discussion while munching on garbage in a dustbin when one began discussing about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean!
The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt
Anywhere, it's so hygienic and the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other cockroach frowning. "Not while I'm eating! The thought of it makes me sick."
Fishing At Hospital
While strolling around in a mental hospital, the doctor saw a patient fishing in a garbage can. The doctor decided to speak to the patient. He went and sat beside him and decided to humor the patient first.
"So how many fish did you catch today?" he asked.
"You must be crazy, don't you know this is a garbage can?!"