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Your 5 Jokes for February 18, 2013: Furniture Jokes

Heavy

When my father-in-law decided to move after his retirement, he invited us to his home to take a few pieces of furniture he wanted us to have. One item was beautiful but very heavy -- an antique dining-room set. Our teenage son helped us wrestle the set into our truck. It took the whole day, but finally the table, chairs, and china cabinet were sitting in our dining room.

"Just think," I said as I admired the furniture while my son sat resting. "This set is 100 years old. And someday, it will belong to you."

"Oh, no!" he replied with a stricken look on his face. "You mean I'm going to have to move this thing AGAIN?"


Late

Rebecca gets into work late one Monday morning and goes to see her boss to apologise. "I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to move some furniture this morning before I came into work. In fact my back is killing me after my efforts."

"So why didn’t you wait until your husband gets home tonight?" asks her boss.

"I could have," says Rebecca, "but the couch is easier to move if he's not on it."


Surprised

President George W. Bush was going to a Home Depot. He was surrounded by his bodyguards, and everyone immediately took notice of the unusual sight. They looked closer and they saw who it was.

Everyone was in awe. "Why would George W. bush be in a Home Depot?" they all asked each other. "He should have his workers do it for him".

Finally, one man asked the President, "What are you doing in this little store of ours?"
To which George replied, "Oh, everyone has been saying that I should get a new cabinet".


Systems Administrator

I work as a systems administrator, and part of m job involves answering questions about computers. I generally like my job, but sometimes it gets on my nerves. When people ask me what I find so irritating, this is what I tell them:

Imagine that you are a salesperson for Ikea (substitute "furniture store" if you don't know what "Ikea" is). You get a phone call that goes like this.

Customer: I'd like to buy a kitchen table.

You: That's fine; we have many styles of kitchen tables, I'm sure you can find one you like.

C: I need one that's 3 feet by 5 feet and has a butcher block top.

Y: Yes, we have a table like that. You can pick it up today.

C: OK, how can I get it back to my house?

Y: Well, it comes disassembled, so you can just put it on a roof rack. We can loan you a roof rack if you don't have one.

C: But how do get there?

Y: We're just off exit 25 of the Turnpike. Where are you coming from?

C: Wait, wait, you're going way too fast for me. I have a Ford in my driveway, and the keys are in my hand. What do I do next?

And, whatever you say at this point, the response is always the same:

C: But all I want is a kitchen table! Why does it have to be so *COMPLICATED*!


The Furniture World

Although it’s hard times in the furniture world, Nathan takes his 5 year old son Sam to his store. When they arrive, and before going in, Nathan looks up at the sign above his store which says:
-
NATHAN’S WORLD OF FURNITURE
and sighs loudly.

Then he looks at the big notice in the store’s front window, written in red: -

NATHAN’S BIG SELL-OUT
END-OF-MY-BUSINESS SALE
GOING BROKE AND MY BANK SAYS IT WON’T LEND ME ANY MORE GELT

Then Nathan lovingly pats Sam on the head, turns to face his store, spreads his arms out wide and says, "One day, Sam, all this will be yours."