5 Friends Jokes

About Husbands

Rachel and Jennifer, married older women, are been friends for years. Rachel doesn’t think her husband finds her attractive any more.

“As I get older my husband doesn’t look at me anymore.” she complains to Jennifer.

“Really, it’s the opposite by me, the older I get the more my husband looks at me.” replies Jennifer.

“That’s because your husband is an antique dealer!” exclaims Rachel.


On A Desolate Island

Three friends; a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stranded on a desolate island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp.

They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."


Talking About Death

Miriam and her friend Renee meet up in their local café for their usual chat. The subject of their discussion this time is the untimely death of one of their friends.

"I felt absolutely terrible when I heard the news about Sonia," says Miriam.

"Yes," says Renee, "I too felt awful on hearing the sad news, especially as she was the same age as us. If only I could find out in advance exactly where I'm going to die."

"Why?" asks Miriam, "What good would it do if you knew where?"
"Because I would then make sure I never go there," Miriam replies.


... And What’s Your Name?

Two elderly ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."

Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


The Elephant Cage

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week.

They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage.

The first boy innocently said, "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."

The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."

The third boy was a little shaken up and said, "Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts."