Your 5 Jokes for April 05, 2013: Forest Jokes

Fireflies

A mother firefly was taking her children for a walk near dusk, and they came to a dark wood. "All right, kids," she ordered, "line up, and whatever happens, don't shine your light. There are owls in the forest and they might fly down and eat you!"

The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line. As they were moving carefully along, suddenly the mother saw a light far back.

"Stop!" she whispered. "Who lit the light back there?"

"I did," admitted the youngster.

"You heard what I told you," scolded the mother. "Why did you disobey?"

"Well," said the little one, "when you gotta glow, you gotta glow."


She Killed A …

It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, “What are you up to?" Alice smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!" Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.

They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot." Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer.

But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, “Get away from my deer!" Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire.

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"


The Forest Officer

A forest officer was transferred to a remote area deep inside th jungle where the population was still uncivilized.

Further, it was rumored that once upon a time, the people of this tribe were cannibals.

One day the officer asked a small child: "Dear boy, how was our previous forest officer?"

The child replied: "Very tasty, Sir."


The Glove

A fox strolls through the forest. Suddenly, she finds a glove, lost probably by a tourist. She picks it up and goes on. Coming across the cows the fox asks them:

- Hey, girls, which one of you lost her bra?


Tracks

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."

The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."

The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.