Your 5 Jokes for October 04, 2012: Fine Jokes

Comparison

A man was speeding down an Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all travelling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go a fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man."Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"


Don’t Feed The Monkeys

A zookeeper saw a visitor throwing $100 bills into the monkey cage.

"Why are you doing that?" he asked.

"The sign says it's ok," he replied.

"No it doesn’t."

“Sure it says ‘Do not feed. $100 fine.’"


I’ll Have Your Job For This

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation.

Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down. "I'll have your job for this!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Sir, you wouldn't want my job," replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation. "The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people."


Parking Note

A guy comes back to his car and finds a note on his windshield saying “Parking Fine".

With a big smile on the face, he takes a pen, writes another note sticks on the nearby pole, saying “Thanks for the compliment."


Radar Gun

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: Each for not wearing a seat belt!