5 Exam Jokes

Billy's Hand

During the final exam, the professor noticed that Billy Walters kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to interrogate the student's test-taking habit.

"Mr. Walters," the professor began. "Is there something interesting written on your palm?"

"Not at all," Billy replied. "It's all pretty boring."


Redneck Test

Two Georgia football players are taking a college exam. If they fail they will not be allowed to play in next week's big game.

The exam is fill-in-the-blank. The last question reads, "Old MacDonald had a ______."

Well, Bubba is stumped. He has no idea what the answer might be. He knows he needs to get this one right to be sure he passes. So, Bubba looks around to make sure the professor isn't watching and then taps Jethro on the shoulder. "Psst! Jethro. What's the answer to the last question?"

Jethro laughs. He looks around to make sure they isn’t watchin and then Jethro turns to Bubba and says, "Bubba, man you're so stupid. Everybody knows that Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Ohhhh," says Bubba. "I remember." So, Bubba starts filling in the blank, but stops. He again reaches over and taps Jethro’s shoulder and whispers, "Hey, how do you spell farm?"

"Man Bubba, you really are brainless. Duh? That's EASY! Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."


Shakespearean Answer

A teacher was correcting exam papers when he came across Simon's effort: a sheet of paper, blank apart from his name and Act II Macbeth. Scene V. Line 28. The teacher reached for his Shakespeare and turned to Macbeth where he found that the 28th line of the fifth scene of the second act read, "I cannot do this bloody thing."


Ten Years Later

An economist is back in his old college town many years after graduation and decides to drop in on one of his old professors. He happens to see a copy of an exam sitting on the desk, so he picks it up to look at it. Upon deciding that it looks familiar, he comments to the professor that it is the same exam that he had taken 10 years ago. The professor assures him that this is correct, but adds that this time the answers are different.


Too Late

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at University. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

One half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

A half an hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.