Your 5 Jokes for October 26, 2012: Engagement Jokes

A Diamond Ring

A man walks into a jewelry store to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. Looking behind the glass case, he comes across an exquisite band with a handsome-sized rock in its center.

“Excuse me, sir," the gentleman says to the salesman. “How much is this ring?"

“Ah, that’s a beautiful piece," the salesman replies. “It goes for $10,000."

“My God!" the man exclaimed. “That’s a lot of money!"

“Yes, but a diamond is forever."

“Perhaps," the gentleman replied, “but my marriage won’t last that long!"


All Alike

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her father asked, "Does this fellow have any money?"

The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike." sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you."


Broken Engagement

Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation:

"Would you marry someone who was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy and sarcastic?"

"Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.

"Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."


Is It True?

The young man at the summer resort, who had become engaged to the pretty girl, received information that led him to question her:

"Is it true that since you came up here you've got engaged to Billy, Ed, George and Harry, as well as me?"

The young lady assumed an air of disdain.

"What is that to you?" she demanded.

"Just this," he replied gently. "If it's so, and you have no objection, we fellows will all chip in together to buy an engagement ring."


Uncouth

The young man had invited his fiancee to meet his parents over drinks at the Plaza. After his family had departed, the girl wanted to know whether she had made the proper impression on them.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, dearest," the fellow said, "but while you were in the ladies' room, my mother told me that she considered you rather uncouth."

"Did you tell them that I attended Bennington and Mt. Holyoke?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes, dearest."

"Did you remind them that my family enjoys a particularly high standing in Bar Harbor?"

"Yes, I did."

"And I hope you told them of my considerable interest in the arts."

"Of course," said the young man.

"Then what's this' uncouth' crap all about?" she asked.