Your 5 Jokes for April 10, 2012: Disease Jokes

After A Long And Devastating Disease

During Brezhnev’s era, in the USSR: Morning newspaper report: 'Central Committee of the Communist Party, Political Bureau, and the Council of Ministers inform that after a long a devastating disease, without ever regaining consciousness, Leonid Brezhnev returned to work'.


Awful Time

"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."


Benefits Of Having Alzheimer’s Disease

5. You never have to watch reruns on television.

4. You are always meeting new people.

3. You don't have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.

2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.

1. Mysteries are always interesting.


Bronchitis

My mom was in the hospital being treated for bronchitis. I told the doctor, “I’ve heard of cases where the doctor treated patients for bronchitis, and they ended up dying of something else.” “Don’t you worry,” said the doctor. “When I treat patients for bronchitis, they die of bronchitis.”


Will I Drive?

Patient gives the doctor his sick-list and asks:

"Doctor, will I live?"

Doctor turns the first page:

"- Sure..."

Turns the next pages:

"- Most likely..., probably..., hardly..."


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