Are You Shy?
One guy told me the other day that he had a problem with parties and bigger festivals.
Why? I asked. Are you too shy?
Not at all, he said. But me and my wife cannot go together..
Well, I asked. Is she shy then?
No. - But we are using the same false teeth!
A preacher went to get his teeth pulled. As a result he would need dentures.
The first Sunday after, he preached 10 minutes. The second he preached 20 minutes and the third he preached an hour and a half. Some members of the congregation asked about the different amounts of time.
The preacher says “The first Sunday my gums were so sore I could barely talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were causing the pain. The third Sunday I grabbed my wife’s dentures and couldn’t stop talking."
Punch You In The Teeth
Arnold and Isaac were residents in a nursing home. Even though they were best of friends, they were still prone to argue with each other.
One day, they are queuing up at the canteen to get their lunch. Because Arnold is taking his time, Isaac says to him, "Hey you! Hurry up already before I punch you in the teeth."
Arnold turns round, looks at Isaac and says, "OK. Go ahead. Make my day! My teeth are upstairs in the glass by my bed."
A: How are you?
B: Pretty well, thanks - but I have a problem.
A: Well, can I help you in any way?
B: Yes, perhaps you could - I was going to buy some things in the store, but found that I have not enough money. I wonder if you could borrow me a little..
A: I am sorry, but I have not a single cent at the moment.
B: Really? But I can hear something tinkling and rattling in your pocket. What is it?
A: Oh, that - it is just my wife´s false teeth. She´s on a diet and I thought I could help her so that she won´t be tempted to eat anything while I am away!
You Used To…
"You used to hold my hand years ago when we were courting," she said as they were side by side in bed. He reached over, took her hand and held it.
"Then you used to kiss me," she purred. He turned over, gave her a slight kiss and then rolled over again to sleep.
"After that, you used to bite my neck." With that the husband got up. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth," he grumbled.