Your 5 Jokes for May 20, 2012: Conference Jokes

Likee …

At the final dinner of an international conference, an American delegate turned to the Chinese delegate sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, "Likee soupee?". The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly. A little later, it was "Likee fishee?" and "Likee meatee?" and "Likee fruitee?" and always the response was an affable nod. At the end of the dinner the chairman of the conference introduced the guest speaker of the evening - none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of the American neighbor. When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbor and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, "Likee speechee?"


Nervous

“Next," the conference emcee announced, “we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly."

The chief took his place at the lectern. “I’m a little nervous," he began, “getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!"


Press Conference

During a press conference, George W. was cornered by one of the reporters.

"Mr. Bush, many are saying that the only reason you would be elected President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father."

"That's absolutely ridiculous," sneered George W. "It doesn't matter how powerful my father is. He can only vote once!"


Some Rules

Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference. "See here Larry," said the coach, "you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also know we don't tolerate temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language. Do I make myself clear?""Yes, sir," replied Larry."Well, then Larry," sighed Coach Jones, "would you please try to explain it to your mother?"


Wrong

When Mrs. Carling arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher appeared to be a little flustered, especially when she started telling Mrs. Carling that her little girl didn't always pay attention in class and, at times, was a little flighty.

"For example, sometimes she'll do the wrong page in her workbook," explained the teacher, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk."

"I don't understand any of that," replied Mrs. Carling defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?"

The teacher went on to assure Mrs. Carling that her daughter was still doing fine in school and was a sweet and likeable little girl. After pausing for a moment, she added, "By the way, Mrs. Carling, our appointment was for tomorrow."