5 Clothes Jokes

Clothes and Pregnancy

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Fox Coat

A man had just presented his wife with the fox coat she had been coaxing and cajoling him to by her for weeks. Now he was perplexed to see her examining it with a sad look.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Don’t you like the coat?" he asked.

“I love it," she answered. “It’s just that I was feeling sorry for the poor little creature who was skinned alive so that I could have the pleasure of wearing this coat."

“Why, thank you," said the husband.

The Last Wish

A dying wife said to her husband:"i'm really sorry that i'm gonna leave you alone, iknow you're hurting but you have to resist, i have a last wish that i want you to do for me" " what's that?", replied the husband, she answered :"Please, keep my clothes with you and don't ever give them to anyone" " Don't worry, they won't fit her"

The Scarf

A blonde walks into a winter clothing store. She picks out a scarf and brings it to the counter to pay for it.

When she gets home, she turns right back around and takes it back to the store.

The store clerk asks why she's returning the scarf. "Because," she says, "it's too tight!"

The Buttons

A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons.

As pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocked from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes.

A police officer who was observing the man asked him for some identification. The man gave the officer a document that shoed he was an ordained minister of the gospel.

When the officer began to escort him to a mental institution, the minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment.

“Look, we both know it’s the best place for you now," the officer replied. “Anyone claiming to be a preacher who doesn’t save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his buttons."