"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
A middle-aged woman took her 3 year old granddaughter called Molly out for ice cream. She asked Molly what she wanted.
Molly said, "I want banilla!"
The woman said, "Honey, it's *V*anilla. V not B."
Molly tried saying it again but it came out VaBanilla. After some coaxing Molly finally said, "Vvvvvvanilla."
The woman said, "Yes! Now, tell me again what kind of ice cream you want!"
Molly said, "I think I want chocolate."
Irresistible to Women
There was a man walking alone along a beach. He comes across a bottle with a cork in it. The man picks up the bottle and pulls out the cork. A loud roar follows and a genie appears. The genie says to the man, "I'm a little tired today and I can only give you two wishes."
The man says "That's OK, two is enough." "First, I would like one-billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Poof - The genie hands the man a paper and says "Here's the number to your account."
Next the man says, "Second, I would like to be irresistible to women."
Poof - the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.
A man tell his friend, “I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking”
“What did he say?”
“He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.”
“Did that do any good?”
“No – I can’t get the chocolate to light.”
What Kind Of Filling?
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"