Your 5 Jokes for October 20, 2013: Charity Jokes

Donation

On Sunday, the world's 2nd wealthiest man, Warren Buffet, announced he will donate the bulk of his 42 billion dollar fortune to charity. Buffet's oldest daughter, Susie, immediately changed her name to Charity.


Eggs And Steaks

A bull and a chicken were walking by a church where a charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the atmosphere, the bull suggested to the chicken that they each make an offering.

“Great idea!" the chicken replied. “Let’s offer them steaks and eggs!"

“Not so fast," said the bull. “For you, that’s an offering. For me, it’s a sacrifice."


Pretzels

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.

Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed her pretzel stand he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel.

This went on for a few years. The two of them never spoke.

One day as the man passed the old lady's pretzel stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him:

"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has increased to 35 cents."


The Beggar

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him £10 and that continues for a year. Suddenly the daily donation changes to £7. 50.

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes £5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me £10 every day, then £7.50 and now only £5. What's the problem?"

"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.

"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense."


The Marathon

Students from the local Catholic high school completed a 26 hour Charity Marathon run. Officials said the run accomplished two goals; first, to raise money for police and firefighters and second, to get as far away from the parish priest as possible.