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Your 5 Jokes for May 12, 2012: Cards Jokes

He’s Cheating

Four cowboys were at an old saloon in Tombstone playing poker. A lot of money was at stake as the cards were dealt, and each was keeping a sharp eye on the other.

As one of the players called the hand and laid out his cards, another one stood up in amazement.

"Hey, George is cheatin'. He ain't playin' the cards I dealt him!"


Kings And Queens

During History lesson, the teacher briefly went through the Kings and Queens who rule countries. “But" the teacher continued, “There is a higher category of power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'


One To Ten

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well.

"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me... even more than 10."

"Good. What comes after three?"

"Four," answers the boy.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. Now... so what comes after... lets say ten?"

"A jack!"


Put To Sleep

Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets. "The brightest dog I ever had," said one, "was a Great Dane that could play cards. He was a whiz at poker, but I had him put to sleep." "You had him put to sleep, a bright dog like that? A dog like that would be worth a million dollars." "Had to," he replied, "Caught him using marked cards!"


Telling The News

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.

Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell his wife?"

They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is.

“Gentlemen! Discreet? I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."

Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he wants. Rippington says,

“Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."

She hollers, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"

Rippington says, “OK, I’ll tell him."