Your 5 Jokes for April 26, 2012: Car Jokes

An Ancient Ford

A dilapidated and very ancient Ford pulled into the local garage. 'Could you let me have half a gallon of petrol?' asked the old fellow at the wheel.

'Why don't you fill her up, now that you're here?' said the attendant.

'Well,' said the old chap, 'she might not run that far.'

Murphy's Car Is Stolen

Murphy's wife borrowed his car and parked in the supermarket car park. Just as she came out laden with shopping, she saw a young lad break into the car, hot wire it and drive off. Naturally she reported the matter to the police.' What did he look like?, the sergeant asked. 'I don't know, she replied, but I got the licence plate'.

Snail racer

There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail replied when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: 'Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!'

The Gift Car

A husband buys his wife a car for her birthday ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that!"

The Stongest Guy

A guy walks into a café and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?"

The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"

The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"