Your 5 Jokes for October 10, 2012: Call Jokes

Accept The Charges

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"


Explaining

After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialled him and got a woman. “Is Robert there?” I asked. “He’s in the shower,” she responded. “Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up.

When he did not return the call, I dialled again. This time a man answered. “This is Robert,” he said.

“You’re not my boyfriend!” I exclaimed.

“I know,” he replied. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour.”


Pay Phone Repair

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine-- except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!


Technologies

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police."Russian: "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."


What Kind Of Day Are You Having?

The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief to the voice in her ear. “How are you, dear? What kind of day are you having?”

“Oh, mom, the baby won’t eat, the washing machine is broke, I’ve not been able to get out of the house to shop, I twisted my ankle and have been hobbling around. On top of that, the house is a mess and we’re supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight.”

“Now dear, just stay calm. Sit down, relax, close your eyes, and I’ll be over in 1/2 hour. I’ll do the shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll take care of the baby when I get there and call a repairman I know who’ll get the washing machine fixed. In fact, I’ll call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“George? Who’s George?”

“Why, that’s your husband, dear.”

“But, mom, my husband's name is Vincent.”

“Is this 234-5678?”

“Uh, no, it’s not. I think you have a wrong number.” The housewife paused.

“Uhhh, does this mean you’re not coming over?”