Your 5 Jokes for February 27, 2012: Calculation Jokes

Bubba’s Graduation

It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and won't be able to graduate tonight."

Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, "Give Bubba another chance, give Bubba another chance!"

Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Bubba another chance. Bubba is told that he will be given a "One Question" math test and if he passes, he can graduate.

The question is, "What is 2 plus 3?" Bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, "I have it! The answer is 5!"

There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, "Give Bubba one more chance. Give Bubba one more Chance!"


Got an F

Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."

Father: "Why?"

Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"

Father: "But that's right!"

Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

Father: "What's the *frigging* difference?"

Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"


The College Professor

A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44.."

The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts . . ."


Who Can Tell Me?

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"


You Don’t Know

Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?

I would have five dollars...

You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...

You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...


Related collections:

Accountant jokes - Accounting jokes - Bank jokes - Business jokes - Check jokes - Customer jokes - Mathematics jokes - Money jokes - Payment jokes - Price jokes - Tax jokes - - Trade jokes