Your 5 Jokes for April 06, 2012: Business Jokes

Competition

Two businessmen, a Japanese and an Albanian are sharing a train cabin. The Japanese says to the Albanian:

- “Do you know that we have invented the thinnest wire in the world?" The Albanian not knowing how to encounter with another product, replies:

- “Well, if you like you can bring it to Albania to have some holes drilled through it!"


Smartness

A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marvelled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant."

“You sell them here?" the customer asks.

“Only $4 apiece," says Morris.

The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.

“You didn’t eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.

“Hey, Green," he says, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!"

“You see?" says Morris. “You’re smarter already."


The Sales Rep And Bill Gates

A sales rep was sitting in an airport's VIP lounge when he noticed Bill Gates sitting across the room.

The sales rep walked over to the billionaire and said, "Sir, I'm a sales representative and I'm waiting here to meet with one of my clients. This client is a very important one, and I need to impress him at any cost to close the deal."

"What can I do to help you?" Gates asked.

"When I'm talking with my client, could you just come over, tap me on the shoulder and say, 'Hi, Joe'?" asked the rep.

"Sure," Gates replied. "No problem."

A few minutes later, the client arrived. The sales rep and his client were talking when Gates walked over, tapped the rep on the shoulder and said, "Hi, Joe."

"Get lost, Gates!" yelled the rep. "I'm in a meeting!"


The Stolen Thief

A thief goes in a shopping area to sell some clothes he had stolen previously, but another thief robs him. When he returns home, his wife asks him:

- “So, did you earn anything?"

- “No," – replies the thief, “this time I sold at cost price!"


Too Much Advertising

Joe: I can't understand why you failed in business.

Pete: Too much advertising.

Joe: What do you mean too much advertising? You never spent a dime on advertising.

Pete: That's true, but my competitors did.