Out Of A Chicken’s Mouth
A man was walking past a restaurant when he noticed a sign in the window which read "Unique Breakfast" so he entered and sat down at a table.
A waitress brought him some coffee and asked what he would like to order.
"I noticed the sign in your window," he said. "What exactly is your "Unique Breakfast?"
"Broiled chicken tongue," she replied.
"Broiled chicken tongue?" Have you any idea how revolting that is? Never would I even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he snarled.
Unruffled by his attitude, the waitress asked, "Well sir, what would you like then?"
"Scrambled eggs and toast," he replied.
A cowboy has lived to an extremely old age, and one day his grandson asked him to what he attributes his long life.
"Well, you know that every morning, I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast," says the old timer. His grandson nods. "Before I eat it, I sprinkle a little gunpowder on it, every day," The ancient cowpoke adds. The grandson decides to follow his grandfather's breakfast regimen, and each morning of his life, he has oatmeal with gunpowder sprinkled on it.
Sure enough, the grandson lives to the ripe old age of 97, and when he died, he left seven children, twenty one grandchildren, eighteen great-grandchildren, and a fifteen foot hole in the side of the crematorium.
Scrambled Or Poached
Santa and Jeeto got married. Santa thought this would be a modern marriage, which meant equal roles for equal partners.
So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Santa brought Jeeto breakfast in bed.
Jeeto wasn’t impressed with his culinary skills, however.
She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, “A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, Santa brought his true love a scrambled egg.
Jeeto wasn’t having any of it. “Don’t you think I like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please his wife, the next morning he brought his true love two eggs – one scrambled and one poached.
“Here, my love… enjoy!"
Jeeto was furious, “You idiot, you scrambled the wrong egg!"
Talking To The Egg
My uncle was talking to this egg. He said, 'I'm ever so sorry little egg but I'm about to fry you.'
The egg said, 'Are you having me on?'
My uncle said, 'Of course I am. I'm having you on toast.'
Moshe was talking to his psychiatrist. "I had a weird dream recently," he says. "I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face. I found this so worrying that I immediately awoke and couldn't get back to sleep. I just stayed there thinking about it until 7am. I got up, made myself a slice of toast and some coffee and came straight here. Can you please help me explain the meaning of my dream?"
The psychiatrist kept silent for some time, then said, "One slice of toast and coffee? Do you call that a breakfast?"