"Well, I must be going."
"Don't let me keep you if you really must be going." said the bored host.
"Yes, I really must go. But, really, I did enjoy our little visit. Do you know, when I came in here I had a headache but now I have lost it entirely."
"Oh, it isn't lost," was the patient reply, "I've got it now."
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together, "Guess what I have in here and you'll get a lovely dinner." The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of dish made by her replies, "An elephant". The wife says "That's close enough!"
After a long drawn out sermon, the vicar announces that there will be a meeting of the board after the church service. The 1st man that arrive is a total stranger.
"Perhaps you have misunderstood my son" says the vicar, "We're going to have a board meeting." "Well", says the stranger, "If there's someone more bored than me, I’d like to meet him."
A Swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life ingeneral. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life.... .. until one day, in the breakfast table, he was reading the morning paper, when he saw an article, which would change his life. It said: "... Scientist's had found out, that somewhere in Africa, one could stillfind tribes of genuine cavemen, untouched by civilization. Only thing needed was to find the correct cave and shout "Wohoo!!" and the tribe would answer to this call." "This is it!" the Swede thought. "This is what I've been waiting for! I'll sell everything I own, go to Africa, find these cavemen, and become rich and famous!"And so he did. He sells everything, moves to Africa and starts looking for the tribe. But cave after cave after cave, no answer. No cavemen. Until one day, yet another cave, and another yell: "Juhuuu!!" And then heheard it! " WWOOOOUU WOOOOOO! !!! " "Härregud!" The Swede thought, "A whole tribe!" And just as he was starting to run to the cave, he thought: "Now wait a minute. These are cavemen. They don't wear clothes, and I might scare them off." So he stripped half-naked and started to run into the cave. And the following day, he was in the headlines all over th world: "Half-naked Swede ran over by a train in Africa"