Your 5 Jokes for February 15, 2013: Blood Jokes

Blood On The Car

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend,"What's happened to your car?""Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer"."OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?""Well, I had to chase him all through the park."


Blood Donation

A Bahraini Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied “Bapu…..now I have Gujerati blood in my veins!"


Blood Sample

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because
he was due to leave the service in two months.
As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did.

When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought."


Circulation Of The Blood

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

“Yes, sir," the boys said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty."


Copy

An Antarctican wanted to have a copy of herself, so she went to the US, and they asked her for a sample of her blood. They asked her to come back after a week, so she went after a week and she saw a donkey, and they told her that this is her copy.

She decided to go to Australia, and when she went there they asked for a sample of her blood, and they asked her to come back after a week. When she went back she saw a donkey, so she went to Japan, and when she told them what happened with her, they asked her to come back after a week. She asked them why they didn't need a blood sample, and they told her that they don't need it, so she left. When she came back after a week she saw an exact copy of herself, and when she asked them how they did it, they said, "We took a blood sample from a donkey."