Your 5 Jokes for April 13, 2012: Bill Jokes

An Eye Doctor’s Bill

An eye doctor was training in a salesman. “As you are fitting the customer's new glasses, tell him they are $90. If he doesn’t react add, ‘for the frames’. The lenses will be $100. If he still doesn’t react, add the word ‘each’.”

Business With The Professor

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.

Fifty Euros From Your Nose

Ben returns home from school with his nose bleeding. His mother, very worried asks him whether he had an accident or something else of the sort:

- “No, it was the fault of the magician! – claims Ben.

- “What magician?” – asks his mother, confused.

- “Well there was this magician who came to our school for a show. He asked me on stage and pulled out a 50 euro banknote from my nose,” – replies Ben. His mother, upset at what she heard starts cursing the magician, but Ben cuts her short:

- “In fact it wasn’t the magicians fault, but my classmates'. After the magician left, they started looking for more money inside my nose!”

No Problem

I do billing for a doctor’s office. One day, I called a guy who was past due $100 on a bill. “Sir, do you know this bill is past due?” I asked. “Yes, but I have no money, so please take me off all your mailing and call lists!” He answered. I said, “No problem,” I said. “That will be a $50 service fee per list!!”

The Greek Bank Note

During 1992, an Albanian border policeman pulls over an Albanian driver who was going to drive over the border to Greece. The policeman asks the driver for his driver's license and since the driver didn’t have it on him, he gives a 10,000 Drachma bank note [Greek currency] to the copper. The copper looks at it and after a while says to the driver:

- “First of all, this is a foreign driver’s license! Second of all, the guy in the picture is not you,” and while turning the banknote over and seeing the drawing of a ship he finally says, “and I am confiscating this license as it’s a ship commandeering license, and you’re not allowed to drive a vehicle with it!”