Your 5 Jokes for August 08, 2013: Begging Jokes

Cup Of Tea

As Sam is walking down the street, he’s accosted by a beggar. "Please can you give me £1?" says the beggar.

"Why should I?" asks Sam.

"Because I need to buy a cup of tea," replies the beggar.

"But a cup of tea is only 50p," says Sam.

"I know," says the beggar," but I’m a big tipper."


Fixing The Roof

For a long time Akpos has been battling with a leak in his roof. One night there was a very heavy down pour, he had to move from one corner of his house to the other to avoid drops from his roof. This made him have sleepless night.

The next morning he decided to fix his roof, after scouting for ladder in his neighbourhood, he tried to climb to the roof. Climbing wasn't easy, he panted and sweated but successfully climbed to the roof, as he was about to fix the damage, he heard a knock on his door. He yelled from the top of his voice; "who is that?" A tattered looking beggar showed up at the ground and said, "excuse me, can I see u?" Akpos asked "what is it you want to tell me?" The beggar said,"just spare me one minute".

Akpos climbed back to the ground, looking tired and asked "what can I do for you?" The beggar said "can u give me N20?" Akpos thought for a while and said "FOLLOW ME".

The two of them started climbing to the roof, panting and gasping for breath, they got to the roof, after panting for one minute Akpos turned to the beggar and said "I DON'T HAVE"


The Millionaire

A beggar knocked on the door of a Beverly Hills mansion. There was no immediate answer, so the bum kept knocking. For fiteen minutes he kept this up. Finally, an angry millionaire opened the door. The beggar said, " Can I have two dollars?"

" What the hell are you doing waking me up at three o'clock in the morning just for two dollars?!" demanded the millionaire.

The bum replied, "Hey! I don't tell you how to run your business, so don't you dare tell me how to run mine!"


The Wish

A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."


Twice As Much

A beggar knocked on the door of a house in Golders Green.

“What do you want?" said the owner.

“Can you spare some money to help a poor person?" said the beggar.

But as soon he was given a few coins and told to go on his way, the beggar complained,
“Your son gave me twice as much when I called here last week."

“Well, my son can afford to," said the owner, “he has a very rich father."