Your 5 Jokes for December 22, 2012: Bathroom Jokes

Guts

There was a man who would come home blind drunk every night and vomit in the bathroom sink, and every night the man's wife would warn him that someday he would puke up his guts.

One day the wife cut up a chicken and left the guts in the sink, just to give him a scare. At about 3:00 a.m. the man came home and spewed in the same sink as always. About 30 minutes later, the man came out of the bathroom and said to his wife,''You were right honey, I really did puke up my guts, but don't worry, with the help of this long wooden spoon, I managed to put them all back."


Little Johnny And The Bathroom

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!


The Bathtub

A man bought a bathtub and took it home, but it didn't seem to work. So he took it back to the shop and said, "This bathtub isn't working! The water doesn't stay in it!"

The salesman said, "Didn't the tub come with a plug?"

The man replied, "No one told me it was electric!"


The Guest Bathroom

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom.

Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains.

It read, “Thank you for not looking in the bathtub.”


The Tornado

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the most amazing thing ... it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly. "What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers. "I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and doggone it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."