A really good-looking girl was giving a man a manicure in the barber shop.
"How about a date when you finish work?" he asked.
"I can't" she replied, "I am married."
"So call up your husband and tell him you're going to visit a sick girlfriend," said the man.
"Why don't you tell him yourself" said the girl, "he's the one shaving you."
One barbershop in town put up a sign attacking the fancy salon down the block. The sign said, "Why pay twenty dollars? We give haircuts for two dollars."
The salon got even by putting up a sign of its own stating,"We repair two-dollar haircuts!"
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut but the barber refused saying, "I cannot accept money from you, for you are a good man - you do God's work."
The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "I cannot accept money from you, for you are a good man - you protect the public."
The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment saying, "I cannot accept money from you, for you are a good man - you serve the justice system."
The next morning the barber found a dozen more lawyers waiting for a haircut.
A man comes into a barbershop and says to the barber, "I want my hair just like Michael Jackson."
So the barber says, "OK...no problem"
The man sits down and falls asleep. When he woke up he saw he was completely bald, then he says to the barber, "Hey Michael Jackson doesn't look like this."
The barber answers, "He would if he came here!"
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is lathering him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
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