Your 5 Jokes for March 14, 2013: Ball Jokes

The Ducks

A buddy and I were golfing one afternoon and getting somewhat bored with the round;
so when we came upon the water hazard with two ducks sitting quietly on the water, I bet him ten bucks he couldn't hit a duck and five dollars he couldn't even get one to move. Being a guy, he took the bet.

He launched four tee shots toward the ducks, and even threw two by hand, and the ducks still wouldn't budge.

Only after he lost six golf balls did he realize the ducks were decoys.


The English Baseball Player

A local community club was organizing a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, and were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they called on a new member, a very reserved Englishman who had just moved into the neighborhood from London, to join their team.

During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the very first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park.

The team members stood there, dumfounded. Unfortunately, so did the Englishman. “Run!” his teammates cried. “For Pete’s sake, run!”

The Brit turned and stared at them icily. “I jolly well shan’t run,” he replied. “I’m perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball.”


The Golf Ball

Tom addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped!

Tom and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball near his head. "Good heavens" said Tom, "what shall I do?"

"Don't move him" said his playing partner, "if we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it two club lengths away."


The Golfer And The Attorney

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."

"I'll take it," the attorney said.


The Smart Ball

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when Banta, a salesman, runs up to him and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

"It's a special golf ball," says Banta. "You can never lose it!"

"What do you mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"

"No problem," says Banta. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

"Easy," says Banta. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

The golfer buys it at once.

"Just one question," he says to Banta. "Where did you get it?"

"I found it."

Facebook Comments Box