Your 5 Jokes for January 06, 2014: Back Jokes

Laid Up

Naomi is about to leave her house to meet her three friends for their regular monthly get together. But as she bends down to pick up the last of the toys left on the floor by her four children, her back gives way. She’s in great pain, so she phones her friends and tells them that she won’t be able to go out with them that afternoon. Later that day, her three friends come to her house to commiserate.

"Oh, Naomi," says Talia, "it’s such a shame you being laid up like this."

"Yes," says Fay, "it’s terrible. The pain you must be experiencing. Such patience you’ve got."

"I know what we can do," says Judith. "We’ll all pray for you every day until you get back on your feet."

As Talia and Fay are nodding their heads in agreement, Naomi says, "Better you three should come here every day and help out with the housework. Praying I can do by myself."


Statistics

John (reading a newspaper): Hey, Pete, guess what. According to recent statistics, 87% of young people have
backache.

Pete: Really? And how about the other 13%? How do they do in order not to have backache?

John continues reading for a while, then he says: They don't have computers.


The Bottle

One day, a man came in to a doctor's office. When it was his turn to consult the doctor, the man said, "Hey doc, my back really hurts. What medicine could you suggest for it?" The doctor replied, "Well, did you try taking some painkiller?" "Yes, I did. I ate the whole bottle of painkiller and all I got was an upset stomach, a day spent in the bathroom, and a surgery to remove the plastic." "You ate the actual bottle?!"


The Staple

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that term.


Wide Back

Max and Leah visit a plastic surgeon. When asked what they would like done, Max replies, "It's her tuchas, doctor, her backside is getting so large that I can no longer get my hands around it."

"So," says the doctor, "you would like me to perform a tuchas reduction?"

"No, no," replies Max, "I need a hand enlargement."

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