Your 5 Jokes for February 03, 2012: Attorney Jokes

Abundance

An American, travelling on a train in Europe, met a Cuban tobacco grower, a Russian caviar seller and a lawyer. While they were talking business, the Cuban took out four cigars and passed them around. After lighting his own cigar, the Cuban took one drag and then threw it out the window, explaining that cigars were of no consequence in his country since there was such an abundance of them. After dinner, the Russian passed out cans of caviar. After taking just one spoon, he threw the can out the window, explaining that caviar was of no consequence since, in Russia, it was so plentiful. The American businessman sat in quiet contemplation for several minutes then arose and threw the lawyer out the window.


A Criminal Attorney

A man went to the Chamber of Commerce in a small town. Obviously distressed, he asked the man at the counter, 'Is there a criminal attorney in town?'

The man replied, 'Yes, but we can't prove it yet.'


Generosity

A lawyer was driving down a country road when he sees a family in a field eating grass. He pulls over and asks them why they're doing that. One of the people says, "we are so poor we can't afford food". So the lawyer says, "get in my car I'll take you to my house". "Are you sure"? asked one of the people, "there are 6 of us". "Yes, get in the car" said the lawyer. They all got in the car. When they were about to get to the lawyer’s house one of the people said "this is really great of you" and the lawyer "said no problem I have grass 6 feet tall".


Locking The Office Safe

Two law partners leave their office and go to lunch. In the middle of lunch the junior partner slaps his forehead.

"Damn," he says. "I forgot to lock the office safe before we left."

His partner replies " What are you worried about? We're both here."


The Blood Test

"I have good news and bad news," a defence attorney told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140."


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Arrest jokes - Confession jokes - Court jokes - Crime jokes - Defendant jokes - Divorce jokes - Honesty jokes - Jail jokes - Judge jokes - Jury jokes - Justice jokes - Law jokes - Lawyer jokes - Liar jokes - Lies jokes - Mugging jokes - Police jokes - Prison jokes - Prisoner jokes - Robber jokes - Robbery jokes - Theft jokes - Thief jokes - Trial jokes - Truth jokes - Witness jokes

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