Your Dose for August 09, 2012: Art Jokes

An Original Michelangelo

Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. "Hey, what yew got there?" asked a neighbor. "I dunno much 'bout art," replied Melburn, "but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!"

Good and Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied, "the good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value
after your death.

When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed, "what's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor..."

Picasso And The Burglar

Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

The Opera

Soviet cops are being taught good manners and elegant behaviour, therefore they are sent to Western Europe to attend special courses and witness cultural events.

One of these events is at the Paris opera house in France. Cops who have never been to the opera are given the unique opportunity to discover how it is...

After the "mission" to improve the cultural level of soviet cops, they return to their headquarters and are asked by their highest officer how it was...

Soviet police officer: "So, how was your experience at the Paris opera?"

A soviet cop: "Well, we felt quite embarrassed" - says a cop with frustration

Soviet police officer: "Why?"

The soviet cop: "Well, us kops were the only ones who jumped up the stage to dance with our wives"

The Painting Robber

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Famous Louvre Art Museum. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading Security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Transit van ran out of gas. When asked how he couldmastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error,
he replied:"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Related collections:

Dance jokes - Museum jokes - Music jokes