Your 5 Jokes for April 21, 2013: Arithmetic Jokes

Eight

Teacher: How much is half of 8

Pupil: Up and down or across?

Teacher: What do you mean?

Pupil: Well, up and down makes it 3, but across the middle makes it 0.


How Many Pounds?

The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a
loan, how many pounds would you still have?".

"Twenty" came the reply.

"How so?" enquired the teacher.

"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to".


Never Go To School Again

So this little girl comes home right? And she goes to daddy and says "I'm never going to school again." So the dad replies "Why?!"

She exclaims "because my teacher said 5+5=10, 6+4=10, 7+3=10, 8+2=10, and that 9+1=10!"

He again says "and your point is???"

She screams "SO SHE NEEDS TO MAKE UP HER MIND!!!"


The Secretary

Sharon is not the brightest secretary that Jonathan has employed, but she always does what she is asked to do. One day, Jonathan needs a long column of figures to be added up for a sales presentation he is giving later on that afternoon, so he says to Sharon, "please add up these figures for me and make sure you check the total is correct. I need them for an important meeting and I wouldn’t want to give out wrong information. May I suggest that you add up the column three times to be absolutely sure."

"OK, sir," replies Sharon.

One hour later, Sharon goes to Jonathan and says, "Here is what you asked me to do, sir."

"Thank you, Sharon," says Jonathan, "and did you check it like I asked you to do?"

"Yes, sir, three times," replies Sharon, "and here are the three answers, sir."


Two Dollars

Teacher: Suppose, you have $2. You asked your mother for one more. How many would you have then?

Student: $2.

Teacher: Why?

Student: Because my mother won’t give me any.

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