Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The creature was black, with a huge and striking red-and-gold beak. “Hey, look! A toucan!" I yelled.
“Toucan nothin’," said the Aussie passenger. “It’s a crow with its beak stuck in a McDonald’s fries carton.
One morning, a mama cow and her three baby cows were out grazing in the field. The first baby cow comes up to the mama cow and says, "Mama, why is my name Daisy?"
And the mama cow said, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."
And the first baby cow trotted off, satisfied.
The next day, they were all out in the field again. The second baby cow came up to the mama cow and said, "Mama, why is my name Tulip?"
"Well, honey, when you were born a tulip fell on your head."
And the baby cow was happy with that answer and continued grazing.
The next day, they all went out into the field again to graze. The third baby cow came up to the mama cow and said,
And the mama cow said,
"SHUT UP BRICK!!!"
Rabbit The Mighty
At the grand meeting of the jungle, animals decided to accept the rabbit as their new king. Everybody agreed to call the rabbit as ‘Rabbit the Mighty, Rabbit the King’ and be afraid of him. Next morning, the rabbit walks through the jungle and sees the fox sound asleep. He kicks the fox. Fox wakes up, looks back, and yells ….. Oh, ‘Rabbit the Mighty, Rabbit the King’ and runs into the jungle until disappears. Next, rabbit kicks the bear. Bear also yells….. Oh, ‘Rabbit the Mighty, Rabbit the King’ and runs away. Next is cow’s turn. As the rabbit kicked the cow, cow looks back, sees the rabbit and kicks back so hard that the poor rabbit flies into the air and falls 25 feet away on the ground and curls in pain for several minutes. Then the rabbit stands on his feet, looks around and makes sure no one is around. Finally, the rabbit continues walking into the jungle he whispers to himself: “Damn cow! Never attends the meetings."