Your 5 Jokes for December 30, 2013: Affair Jokes

Fishing On The Weekend

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.

"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.

"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"

"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."

Late Night Call

Mrs. And Mr. Smith were asleep one night when the phone starts ringing.

Mrs. Smith picks up the phone, listens for a few seconds, and says, “How the hell should I know, it’s 100 miles away.” and slams down the phone.

Mr Smith asks his wife, “Who was that?”

Mrs. Smith responds, “Some crazy lady. She wanted to know if the coast was clear.”

On His Death Bed

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I had affairs with your sister, your best friend and her best friend!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

The Soccer Fan

A soccer fan’s wife came home from work to find him sitting watching soccer.

“I’ve decided I’m leaving you, all you do is talk about soccer you think about nothing else” she said “I’m also seeing someone else truth be told”

“Really?” He replied “What team does he support?”

Try It

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that - it never worked."