Your 5 Jokes for September 19, 2012: Advertisement Jokes

Attention

I work in a department store where every night at closing time one of our customer service representatives reminds shoppers over the public address system to finish their shopping.

One evening, a woman who had recently worked at Kmart opened the announcement by saying,

“Attention Kmart shoppers . . ."

Quickly realizing her mistake, she tap-danced her way out of trouble by adding, “. . . you are in the wrong store."


Experience

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."


Profitable Error Messages

Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression. "We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a "general protection fault" or "illegal operation" warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror. The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.


Sponsorship

When our company was selling top-of-the-line business computers, our advertising team proposed sponsorship of a major golf tournament on television. Surprised when approval came through quickly, I asked the head of the ad team how he had persuaded our usually reluctant chairman of the board.

“It sold itself," the ad-man told me. “When the chairman first heard the idea, he asked, ‘Why on earth would you want to sponsor a golf tournament? The only ones who watch them are people like me.’"

“Then he paused and said, ‘Oh.’"


The Phone Call

Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.

Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor. Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breathlessly said, “Hello?"

The voice on the other end asked, “Is this Speedy Morris?"

“Yes, yes!" he replied excitedly.

Then the voice continued, “Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated."

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