Your 5 Jokes for April 22, 2012: Ad Jokes

I Don’t Like It

In a meeting with a client (who worked for a major tobacco company) I presented my designs for his press ad to which he seemed most unimpressed.

Him: “What did you do these in?”

Me: “Um… Photoshop.”

Him: “That’s why. I don’t like Photoshop. Have you ever used Powerpoint? I can make some great stuff in Powerpoint. You should use it.”

Me: *blink*

Personals Ads

I answer personal ads. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I think I'm the only one that answers them in the negative. Like, I'll call up and be like, 'Yeah, are you a single, white female, 29, who likes long walks on the beach, poetry and jazz? I'm not interested in that.'

Season Ticket

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said.

The Second Floor Suite

My wife, a real estate agent, wrote an ad for a house she was listing. The house had a second-floor suite that could be accessed using a lift chair that slid along the staircase. Quickly describing this feature, she inadvertently made it sound even more attractive: "Mother-in-law suite comes with an electric chair."

Wife Wanted

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same : "You can have mine."