Your 5 Jokes for November 26, 2013: Account Jokes

Frozen

My cousin always “borrows" money from her older brother’s piggy bank, which drives him crazy. One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the freezer. Inside was this note: “Dear sister, I hope you’ll understand, but my capital has been frozen."


Negative Balance

A man goes up to an ATM machine. After entering his PIN, another man comes up behind him and tells him to withdraw $500. The man says that he doesn't have any money and was just checking his account balance. He shows the robber by checking his account balance. Sure enough, the ATM shows that there is no money. The robber curses and flees.
The man then reaches into his vest pocket and withdraws an envelope filled with cash and deposits it.


Opening An Account

A woman went into a bank to get a check cashed, but she didn't have an account with them. When the teller asked her for some identification, the woman showed her several charge cards, her social security card and a library card.

The teller told her they needed a driver's license, but the woman said she didn't have one.

"Don't you have anything with your picture on it?" the teller asked.

"Oh, sure," she said, as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row."


Returned Check

The teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.

"The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store," his mother said.

"Oh good," he replied, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!"


The Cheque Book

MUSA: Good morning my cheque book had been stolen.

ACCOUNT OFFICER: Then we need to block the cheque so that your signature won't be forged and your account swept.

MUSA: Don't worry I already signed all the leaflet no space for them to sign again.

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