Your 5 Jokes for February 19, 2012: Law Jokes

It’s Illegal

"Do you think what we're doing is wrong?"

"Of course it's wrong! It's illegal!"

"I've never done anything illegal before."

"I thought you said you were an accountant!"


Right

Mulla was acting as a judge one day. A plaintiff came to him and complained about another person. The man was so convincing that Mulla said: "Yes, you are right."

Later the defendant came and presented his case. Mulla listened carefully, and at the end said: "Yes, you are right."

Mulla's wife, who was sitting there witnessing this situation, said with amazement: "Mulla, I just cannot figure you out. How could both the plaintiff and the defendant be right at the same time?"

Mulla thought a little and said: "Yes, you are right."


That Old Whitmore Suit

A young attorney who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.

"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."

"Settled it!!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"


The Dishonest Man

A man who was chosen for jury duty wanted very much to be dismissed from serving. He tried just about every excuse he could come up with, but nothing worked.

On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more try. Just as the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, "I feel I must be excused from this trial since I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those sneaky, beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said, 'He's a crook! Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!' Therefore, your Honor, I could not possibly remain on this jury."

Glaring at him, the Judge replied, "Get yourself back in the jury box. That man is his lawyer!"


The Hamburger

Prosecutor : What were you doing on July 15th at 9 o'clock in the evening ?

Prisoner : I was eating hamburger.

Prosecutor : What were you doing at 9:30 p.m. ?

Prisoner : I was taking a bicarbonate of soda.

Prosecutor : Do you expect us to believe you ?

Prisoner : You would if you had eaten one of those hamburgers.


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