5 Bank Clerk Jokes

Address

It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at the line of waiting customers, a harried-looking man came up to the side counter and demanded,

"What do I have to do to change the address on my account?"

Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, "Move."

5 Grocery Store Jokes

At The Checkout Counter

At a grocery checkout counter, my father was sorting through various currencies, searching for US dollars to pay for his purchases.

"Looking at all that foreign money," the cashier said, "I bet you're going overseas."

"I'm an airline pilot," Dad explained. "I frequently fly to the Orient."

"Oooo, a pilot! That must be exciting!"

"Not if you do it right," replied my father."

5 Door-To-Door Salesman Jokes

Burial Plot

I had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery. He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope you'll be very happy there."

5 New Car Jokes

Abstract Thing

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?"
"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."

5 Math Teacher Jokes

Addition

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

5 Kindergarten Class Jokes

Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked
Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Sh*t."

5 Summer Camp Jokes

Difference

Counselor: Does anybody here know the difference between a biscuit and a rock?

Camper: I do

Counselor: Good you're cooking breakfast.

5 History Teacher Jokes

Against War

The History teacher had just finished a chapter on World War I.
She asked the class, "How many of you are against war?"

A number of hands shot up. The teacher said, "Ok, Little Johnny, you tell us, why are you not in favor of war?"

"I hate war, miss." Little Johnny said, "That's because wars end up making history, and history is my least favorite subject."

Your 5 Jokes for July 06, 2014: Foul Language Jokes

Awful Words

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"

Your 5 Jokes for July 05, 2012: Nursery School Jokes

Age

Welcome to our school, William," said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. "How old are you?"

"I'm not old," said Simon. "I'm still almost new.”

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